Greatest American Hero...(day 38)

While you may find it hard to believe, I recently discovered that I'm a superhero.  This realization came quietly and didn't have all the fanfare of say Superman's or Spiderman's discoveries of their respective abilities.  I was just going about my daily grind, minding my own business when I realized that I have some powers that maybe not everyone else has.  I haven't talked about it much, but I'm ready to go public now. I don't want to brag, I just want to reach out and implore the rest of you to embrace your own special powers and consider that you too might just be a superzero superhero like me.

My abilities include but are not limited to the following, as my discoveries have only just begun:

I can burn through nearly an entire paycheck in one single day, faster than you can say bounced check.
I can convince small children that soy nuggets are actually chicken nuggets.
I can fit two loads of laundry into one wash cycle and make my washing machine do a funny dance around the room.
I can use artful layering of clothing to appear taller/slimmer than I actually am.
I can move whole pieces of furniture across a room to disguise another nail polish stain on the carpet.
I can become invisible to my children.
I can withstand countless hours of preschool programming with minimal eye twitch.
I can make time virtually stop when I'm on an errand by myself.
I can catch a toddler.
I can ride a bike with no handlebars.

Flyday stats:
Food: Iced coffee, bagel with cream cheese, 1/2 of disgusting garden burger from Burger King (I don't know why I thought this was a good idea), one fruit snack wrestled away from my lovely toddler, a few Applejacks force fed to me by same toddler
Movement: Scrubbing of floors on hands and knees, washing of upstairs of house, folding of clothes, chasing around toddler in yard, perusing Target for sundries with inordinate amount of time spent in facial lotion aisle