Whatchu talking about Willis?... (day 32)

I often find myself bewildered by the things that come out of my mouth when talking to my children.  Many times I speak sentences that don't even make sense.  Today, I am sorry to say that I paid special  attention to the things that my children were saying when playing with one another.  Below is a small sampling of their bon mots, and it is no wonder that I babble incoherently.

My life is like a fart.

If I wore marshmallows on my feet, no one would ever hear me coming.

Does he know that's the poop yard?

My life is like a butt

If you didn't decide to wash your hair with sand, you wouldn't need a bath

If you eat soap, you would be hiccing up and cough a bubble

I got grass stains on my knees

I seen this one before, it's when I started smacking my butt for like a hour

Why do we have to brush our hair?  It's nighttime & no one is coming in here inspecting us, right?

He kissed a rattlesnake, that's disgusting.

That's your thumb toe.

Shut up woo-woo.

Faturday stats:
Food: 1/2 bean and cheese burrito, one slice of cold pizza, hummus, goat cheese, naan, blackberries, dried pineapple, two glasses of pinot noir
Movement: What seemed like endless hunting of dog poop in backyard, sweeping back patio, emergency trip to Old Navy to replace lost sunglasses, meandering around supermarket