Dry Ground (day 3)

Due to a combination of technical difficulties, and laziness this post may be reaching those of you living east of the Mississippi a little late, if that matters in the least, then I wholeheartedly apologize. Friday, for me, was a roller coaster of a day.  It began with a bounce in my step that it was the end of the week and looking forward to a whole two days with my lovelies three.  It ended with me feeling crushing insecurity about my decision last week not to apply for any positions in the school where I've worked for the past twelve years, after the position I currently hold was written out of the school budget.  This was not a decision reached lightly, and certainly included gnashing of teeth, crying,  and a lot of 'dirty' words.  I'm not sure about anybody else, but if I don't let loose a good string (or fifteen) of curse words, then I'm not really making a decision.  I am a big fan of  dirty words, and have been since about the second grade whereupon making my first holy communion, I truly believed I was allowed to let loose whenever the urge struck (my mother did not hold this belief and felt that ivory soap was a good deterrent).   Whether in anger, happiness or abject nonchalance, dirty words are a good friend to me ~ not unlike vodka and Marlboro lights.  I felt the decision I made was right and gave me some semblance of control in a situation that was way out of control.  As this week ended, I felt ashamed.  I have never been reduced or written out of anything.  Ever.  I am working through this as my weekend and family time kick into full gear.  I know in a day or two, I'll feel right back to my righteous self and move forward with the same award winning positivity that carries me through most events in my life.

So day three was no sweat, in terms of eating, or not eating things on the forbidden list.  I think that candy will really be the hardest for me as the days move along, but dried fruit is really stepping up by tricking me into thinking I've had some candy.  Also, I find, that dried fruit sticks in the back of my teeth and I get to enjoy it for a few hours ~ hey, don't judge!  The nicest thing, I'm finding, is that the watchfulness over what I'm eating is allowing me to believe that I have control somewhere, somehow.  I'm gonna let that feeling ride & give everything else over to the universe for a little while. 

Threepeat Stats:
Food:  Trail mix consisting of raisins and nut meat (I giggle like a fifth grade boy every time I see nutmeat written), Kashi mocha/almond granola bar, tomatoes and string cheese, NY style pizza, garlic knot and a handful of popcorn, two glasses of beaujalais.  Oh yeah, I also had iced coffee.  This week has been a caffeine laden week.
Movement:  Lugging 25 lb. toddler around on icy sidewalks, unpurposefully walking around large school building, hauling state test boxes in and out of small closet.