Things I'd rather do than clean up after toddler with the stomach flu, especially one who has yet to learn the all important lesson of throwing up inside of the toilet or a trash can:
a. Ride a NYC subway without air conditioning, during rush hour in August.
b. Get into a fist fight with Ann Coulter - actually I kind of want to do this anyway.
c. Attend a rally for Mitt Romney with Kid Rock as the musical guest.
d. Hold my breath for really compelling, transformative Donald Trump announcements.
e. Get on the Honey Boo-Boo Show.
f. Watch nothing but Sponge Bob or Elmo for twenty four hours straight.
g. Sit in a tub of my own urine, drinking a box of wine, watching reruns of Sanford & Son, while contemplating suicide with a rusty butter knife.
Yeah, it's that bad.
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